


Empty Hands, Closed Doors.

by snaeken



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, the angstiest angst that has ever angsted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 16:07:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snaeken/pseuds/snaeken
Summary: They were all supposed to make it out alive.Or: the dead!Liam fic that Literally Everyone has been telling me to stop writing, but I wrote it anyway.





	Empty Hands, Closed Doors.

Theo has never been to a funeral before. He just never really saw the point of them, honestly, didn’t understand the tears and the sorrow. Living with the Dread Doctors for so long completely nullified any regard he had for human life. Once a test subject was dead, they were dead. He would simply shrug and move on to the next one.

He gets it now, though.

Theo is standing between the trees, away from the congregation. Far enough to be out of sight, but still close enough to hear the minister’s empty sermon and the sobs of those left behind. Liam’s parents are at the front, heads bowed and standing hand in hand, tears streaming down both of their faces.

The rest of the pack aren’t far behind. Scott’s eyes are red; not alpha red, but rather bloodshot and grieving red. They were all supposed to make it out alive. The stench of Scott’s guilt is rancid, mingling and mixing with everyone else’s grief. It’s like a blanket of mourning fog has settled over them all. It’s almost suffocating even from where Theo’s standing; he doesn’t know how the others can bear it.

Mason’s an absolute mess. It looks like Corey is physically holding him up, preventing him from just collapsing to the ground then and there.

Looking at them all hurts, seeing all these people who survived when Liam didn’t. Theo would happily trade any of the people in front of him, himself included, if it would bring Liam back. It shouldn’t have been Liam.

Theo gives a shuddering breath, and Malia whips her head around. They lock eyes and Theo is fully expecting her to give him a warning glare, to leave them to grieve in peace. Instead, she gives him a watery smile before turning back to Scott. It’s the closest thing to condolences any of the pack have given him.

That’s when it truly hits him: every success, every defeat; every celebration, every commiseration; every birthday, every holiday; every single life event yet to happen will be tainted by the loss of Liam. They will all hopefully grow up, get older, move on with their lives. Not Liam, though. No, Liam will remain untarnished by time, young and beautiful, sixteen forever.

 

Theo’s heart bursts into agonising flames as Liam’s body is returned to the earth.

 

***

 

Theo and Liam had just knocked out the last group of hunters at the hospital, and were going to the school to join the rest of the pack. Lydia had texted Liam in the midst of all the chaos to say that’s where everyone was going.

They were walking down the corridor, close enough that they were almost brushing shoulders but not quite. Theo could feel Liam watching him, so he returned the look.

Liam smiled at him and said, “Good job back there.”

“Yeah, you too,” Theo said, smiling one of those rare, sincere smiles that only Liam seemed to be able to get out of him.

Then Gabe rounded the corner ahead of them, and opened fire.

Theo instinctively grabbed Liam’s hand, pulling him back the way they had come. Theo grunted in pain as the wolfsbane bullets hit his shoulder and forearm, the burn of them searing through his flesh.

Liam cried out in pain and Theo was left empty handed as Liam collapsed to the ground. Theo’s pain was quickly replaced with anger and the need to _protect_  Liam. He turned around and ran straight at Gabe and his gun. Gabe let off a few more shots but they went wild. The hunter was panicking; he hadn’t expected Theo to run at him. Theo let out a snarl and extended his claws, ripping out Gabe’s trachea. The gun clattered to the ground as Gabe clutched at his throat, eyes bulging as he gasped desperately for the breath that would never come. Blood flowed through his hands and onto the floor, the hunter slipping in it and crashing down. Soon after that, he stopped struggling.

Theo stood over his body, fangs bared in a malicious grin. “Fucking bastard,” Theo snarled as he slammed a foot into Gabe’s chest over and over again, revelling in the sound of his ribs cracking.

 

Then Liam coughed and Theo was with him immediately, carefully helping him up and setting him against the wall.

“It hurts,” Liam mumbled.

Theo knew that wolfsbane affected Liam even worse, but this wasn’t right. There shouldn’t have been so much blood.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” Theo reassured him, taking hold of both of Liam’s hands.

He had only tried this once before, and Mason’s words were like daggers in his ears.

__‘_ It doesn’t work if you don’t care. _’_ _

But he does care, he _does_. And this was his chance to prove it.

He exhaled shakily when the black veins appeared on Liam’s hands and travelled into his own. Theo gasped and almost flinched away, not expecting Liam’s pain to affect him so severely. Instead he gritted his teeth, gripped Liam’s hands tighter and redoubled his efforts.

“Does it hurt anymore?”

Liam blinked slowly, giving Theo a weak smile.

“I can’t regret this, I need to ask,” Liam said, almost to himself. Theo frowned at the lack of an answer. “Can I kiss you?”

Theo wasn’t often lost for words, but he was now. He hadn’t thought Liam felt the same way.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t ha-”

Theo cut Liam off by leaning in and tenderly connecting their lips.

In any other scenario, the kiss wouldn’t have been so soft. They would have been arguing about something petty, the tension between them reaching a fever pitch until they couldn’t hold back anymore. It would have been an aggressive, desperate thing, neither of them wanting to give up control. It would probably have resulted in a broken nose (or two, or three…) and taking each other apart piece by piece, a fiery ball of lust becoming a blazing inferno.

Then Liam abruptly pushed Theo back -not very hard, but still enough to startle Theo- as he coughed again. This time blood flecked Liam’s lips and spattered against Theo’s face. This wasn’t right. Liam should have started healing by now, he shouldn’t be getting worse.

“We could’ve been good together, with time,” Liam says, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“Hey, we still can be.” Theo wipes the tear away with his clean hand. “We’ll be the best.”

Liam just closed his eyes and shook his head.

He stayed like that for a minute, eyes closed, and Theo was about to check if he was still conscious when he spoke again.

“Theo, could you…”

“What? Name anything and I’ll do it.”

The sheer sincerity of his words almost overwhelmed him. It seemed to surprise Liam, too.

“I- I’m not healing. I’m not  _going_  to heal. I’m too weak to do it myself,” Liam’s voice cracked. He tried to clear his throat but more flecks of blood came up instead. “Could you make it quick?”

Theo felt like the ground was collapsing from beneath him. He wished he could take back his words, that he hadn’t inadvertently told Liam he would do this. God, anything but this. Liam was the only good thing that had happened to him since he first returned to Beacon Hills, since he got out of Hell. He didn’t want to end that by his own hands.

Then he mentally shook himself, shoved his selfishness aside. Theo was the only one who could do this for Liam, the only one who could stop him from lingering on, from suffering more than he had to. Theo has done far worse in his time than end the suffering of someone –the only one – he truly cares about.

“Yeah, okay.” His voice came out a lot steadier than he thought it would.

He kissed Liam again slowly, both a thank you and an apology. Then, reminiscent of all those years ago with Tara, Theo plunged his still-bloodied hand into Liam’s chest and took hold of his heart. Liam gasped at the intrusion, but none of those tell-tale black veins appeared so he must not have been in pain.

Then Theo squeezed.

He physically felt Liam’s heart speed up, trying desperately to work around the increasing pressure of Theo’s grip.

Faster, faster, faster-

-Then it stopped.

 

As Theo pulled his claws out of his chest, Liam's lifeless hands fell to the ground.

 

The hospital was deadly quiet, the only sounds left being the static buzz of the overhead strip lights and the thunderous pounding of Theo’s heart. For the first time, he wished Tara would take it back from him; wished that she would rip it from his chest so that he could no longer feel the agonising grief that gripped it like a vice, making it impossible for him to breathe. How could it keep beating in his chest, pumping blood, sustaining life, when Liam was gone?

 

He let out a choked sob as he held Liam’s body against his chest, using his bloodied hand to close Liam’s eyes for the final time. He winced as he saw the streaks of blood he had left on Liam’s face, tried to scrub it away but only succeeded in smudging and spreading it. As Theo’s tears began to fall freely, his very eyes began to crack and alter. The Dread Doctors’ technology failed, the shattered lenses tearing into his eyelids as they fell to pieces. As he blinked the blood away, Theo’s eyes transformed from golden to electric, luminous blue.

 

He sat there for what felt like forever, unable to bring himself to move. He could hear multiple sets of footsteps coming towards him, but he didn't look up. Whether they're friendly or they're hunters, he didn't care. Let them do their worst.

The pack all appear, Scott frantically running at the front, Lydia hot on his heels. They slow to a stop, taking in the blood-soaked corridor, Gabe’s body, Theo holding Liam. Then Mason started to scream.

 

***

 

Theo can’t put it off any longer. He needs to go and collect his stuff from Liam’s house. Once he arrives he goes to the front door and raises his fist to knock, then lowers it again. He repeats the motion a few times but can’t actually bring himself to do it. He finally decides to get it over with and raises his fist to knock again. However, before he actually knocks the door opens. Dr. Geyer is on the other side and he startles when he sees Theo.

“Theo. It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too. I’ve come to, um. To get my stuff.” He shifts on the balls of his feet, profoundly uncomfortable, not that he’d ever admit it.

He just nods solemnly, like he was expecting this.

He takes in Dr. Geyer’s appearance; he hasn’t shaved for a few days, facial hair messy. The spark has gone from his eyes, guilt and grief simmering beneath the surface. The guilt of saving lives every day but not being able to save his own son.

“I didn’t see you at the funer- the. The ceremony.” There’s no accusation behind it, only sadness.

“I was standing at the back” Theo says. It’s not technically a lie.

“He really cared about you. He probably played it down, but do you know how hard he fought for you to stay here?”

Theo shakes his head.

“He was furious when he found out you were sleeping in your truck and nobody had helped you. I thought he was going to have an episode, that’s how angry he was. So he fought his case for you to stay with us. Honestly, Carol and I were wary; Liam told us about your past.”

Theo averted his eyes, the guilt and shame of what he’s done blooming in his chest.

“But,” Dr. Geyer rubs his shoulder reassuringly. “He also told us how much you helped him and the others. How much he trusted you.”

Theo can feel himself welling up again and he hates himself for it. “Allergies,” he mutters as he scrubs at his eyes.

“You loved him.”

Theo whips his head up and locks eyes with Dr. Geyer, lips parted on the verge of a denial, but he can’t force the words out. They just look and look and look at each other, until Theo gives the briefest nod of his head. Dr. Geyer pulls him into an embrace and Theo discreetly wipes his eyes on his shirt. The scent of Liam-but-not-quite crushes Theo’s chest and he has to pull away.

“Head on up,” Dr. Geyer says, moving out of the doorway to let Theo in.

 

He hesitates yet again outside Liam’s room. The door is closed, the way it will probably remain from now on. Theo forces himself to turn the handle and go in, but stops in his tracks when he realises Liam’s mum is in the room. He hadn’t even noticed her heartbeat. She’s asleep on top of Liam’s bed, clutching one of his pillows and curled up in the foetal position. Now that Theo’s paying attention, he can smell the salt of her tears. It hurts, seeing her like this when she’s normally so bright and vibrant.

Theo has never felt more like an intruder in the house he was learning to call a home.

He gathers his few belongings up as quickly and quietly as he can. Liam’s scent is overpowering now, suffocating. Theo takes one last look at Liam’s mum, then closes the door behind him.

 

Dr. Geyer is waiting for him when he goes back downstairs. “You’re welcome to stay, you know.”

Theo shakes his head. “I can’t.”

Again, Dr. Geyer just nods in understanding.

It’s selfish and it’s cruel, Theo knows; that he can just walk away, when Liam’s parents are forced to stay in a house haunted by memories of the son they had to bury.

 

He looks back when he reaches the truck, but Dr. Geyer is already gone.

 

***

 

He doesn’t tell the pack that he’s leaving. They never truly forgave him or accepted him, despite Scott’s policy of everyone deserving a second chance. They only vaguely tolerated him because Liam was around, really; now that he’s gone, there’s nothing tying Theo to Beacon Hills. He throws his meagre belongings into his truck, gets in and starts to drive.

 

The longer he drives for and the further away from Beacon Hills he gets, the stronger the barrier around his heart grows to be. He practices his trademark smirk in the rear-view mirror. It doesn’t look quite as natural, as effortless, as it used to. He flashes his eyes, holding a staring contest with the mirror for as long as he can handle the luminous blue staring back at him. He might be running from Beacon Hills, but he can never run from this.

 

Day turns to night and turns to day again. Country roads turn to city lights turn to desert. He only stops to refuel, needing to make up as much distance as possible. He doesn’t know where he’s going or when he’ll stop. _If_  he’ll stop. He might reach the edge and just drive straight into the endless blue. He’ll see when he gets there.

 

As time passes him by in a fractured blur, Theo slowly but surely represses his memories of Beacon Hills; of Liam. The traitorous flames which ignited his heart at the funeral have been extinguished. All that remains of it is a black, smouldering husk. He closes the door to it, locks it and throws away the key.

 

Theo will never let himself love again.


End file.
